Posted by
Arik on Friday, October 09, 2009 10:44:24 PM
Hot on the heels of the Chosen One's Nobel Prize win, I have a plan that should make the rest of the world really happy, cut the defense budget and cement his reputation as one of the great figures in world peace for centuries.
It's a simple strategy, really. Since America is a big, imperialistic juggernaut that can't be trusted with power, I suggest that we pull our military out of every country that doesn't want us there.
We are already leaving Iraq, if not on the time scale the Mess-I-uh and his friends want, and it appears that the Nobel Committe decided to pressure him to withdraw from Afghanistan, as well. Ok, let's get out of there.
Next, places where we are obviously not welcome, like Germany, which, as we all know is a nation noted for its pacifism, will be left behind. Also Italy and the rest of Europe. Let's get out of Turkey, too, while we're at it.
Then, having left Europe to their peace, we can pull out of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, etc., giving the Muslims no reason to hate us for being on sacred Muslim soil. This would, obviously, end all terrorism and hatred of the U.S. Right?
Finally, we can get out of Japan, South Korea, Okinawa and the Western Pacific in general, as there are no problems there, you know. We can let all those people live in the peace that they've known for centuries.
When the United States pulls its military back, fully within its own borders, we can just sit back and watch peace spread all over the world, from Russia, from Iran, from North Korea, from all corners. With the United States out of the way, the rest of the world can finally be free to find peace.